Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
