Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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