clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Vodka?
Forever.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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