apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
