Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We are two peas in an std pod
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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