I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He passed out mid-signature
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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