He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
