she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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