Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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