youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
