I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
