I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
