my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
