nut hugger
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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