once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
