i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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