Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize