Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
