Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
