Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
