I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
