So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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