put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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