U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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