i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
