I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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