the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wish you could order shots online.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
