I just saw a hot homeless man
I think i peed on brittanys purse
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
