Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
