Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
