Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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