Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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