Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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