That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
