So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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