I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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