Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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