if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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