The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
