This is not my ceiling
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We're too hungover to prance.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
