I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I've blown a few things in my day
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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