Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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