you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
