He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
