everyone is single if you try hard enough
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
