She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
