Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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