Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

i need an iv and a liver transplant

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(541): View more from Oregon

Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading

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(815): View more from Illinois

I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.

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(845): View more from New York

We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.

Fav 38 4159 1951
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(917): View more from New York City

I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.

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(207): View more from Maine

I still have a little drunk in my system

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(815): View more from Illinois

Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend

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