what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
