Swine flu is the new snow day.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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