After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
