the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
