Im at strip club and am horny
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
