My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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