i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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