I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize