it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
