so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
