your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
