Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize