Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
