Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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