I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
