I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
worst night to have a conscience
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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