Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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