In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
